I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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