It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
