Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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