Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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