Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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