we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
