brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
