my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
