if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
why is half of my head shaved?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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