hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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