your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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