If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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