We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
