Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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