Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
