the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
areolas are like halos for boobs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
