What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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