I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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