I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
