hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
