its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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