I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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