As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
