Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
