there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
