I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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