Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
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