she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
