He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
