did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
