Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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