what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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