3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
