how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
