You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
