would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I said "one day" and that day is not today
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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