Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
