its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
