this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
