Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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