Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
