I'm gonna have a badass scar
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
