Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
