just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
