Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
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