sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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