"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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