I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
