Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Barsexuality is the new black.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
