He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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