she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
