I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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