What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
NoShamevember. You game?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
