She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
