Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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