I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
