I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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